I reached a point this past year where I broke down and asked for complete deliverance from complaining, gossiping, and judging/criticizing. Tall order, right?
Maybe so, but I’m just plain over it. I have no desire to inflict harm to any human anymore, and I’m ready to admit and bring to light that complaining, gossiping, judging and criticizing does harm to your fellow man. And I want total freedom from it. More than that, I want to be proud of the example I’m setting for my two girls, ages 4 and 8. I want them to hear their mama speak life and positivity.
First off, let’s talk about complaining. Complaining lowers the energy frequency of anyone around you. When you think about it, people have enough problems of their own without projecting yours onto them. Not only that, but when we complain, we give power to whatever we are complaining about, and by the law of attraction we draw more like it into our lives. Instead of complaining, actively ask “what can I do about it?” and problem solve to fix this issue. I don’t suppose it’s realistic to say you will never complain, but everyday when you wake up it’s your intention, and you know you’re getting better at it every single day.
Reach the point where gossiping now repels you….to the point you just want to respect the privacy of others. If you have ever been around someone who gossips incessantly, or the subject of gossip as I have, it is so very hurtful. Distance yourself from those who revel in gossip and try to interject with positive comments when someone attempts to relay gossip to you. There are just so many more productive ways to use your time.
It is so easy and tempting to judge and criticize others. We have all done it, but I am actively striving to wash my hands of it. Please consider that when you criticize and condemn someone, it may satisfy your flesh and allow you to feel that your life is somehow better, “thank heavens, that isn’t me!” or “at least I’m better than her.” But know that condemning someone does no good, only harm. It is in a sense cursing them to stay that way. Instead, when someone does wrong, see them as no different than you, imperfect, doing their best. As Atticus said to Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird, “if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Assume positive intentions. Try believing in them, that they will go forward and do better, just as you would want someone to do for you. When you are tempted to criticize someone, think about what that thought is really saying about yourself and what needs to change in you.
Consider doing personal development in each of these three areas, which I know I am in need of. You may also find you need to retreat from being around others for a period of time, as you try to get these under better control.
And be prepared, you know how they say to be careful asking for patience? The same is true with complaining, gossiping and criticizing. In the past year I have been tempted and tested – complained about, gossiped about and criticized, and placed in situations where I am tempted to complain, gossip and criticize. I am able to be grateful for the suffering I’ve been through because it pushed me to the point of detesting these three acts even more. I have a long way to grow, but I am nowhere near where I used to be. I am ready to move forward, with benevolence and goodwill in my heart for every human being.